Slowly we are creeping into a routine. A flexible, destructible, completely re-writable routine. But a routine just the same. There are days when I feel like I'm hitting my stride and the transition between satisfying Bub's, Teeb's, and Scooter's needs feels like a seamless dance. But really our version of a seamless dance is a little eclectic, a little messy, a little flying by the seat of our pants. But we're happy.
We've been spending a lot of time outside. Planting flowers, playing with water guns, or just sitting in the dirt with a shovel.
I like our little world where shutting the door to the laundry room and heading outside feels just as good as getting the laundry done. Everything always gets done, but now there is a big emphasis on eventually.
Tonight Bub graduates from preschool and in a few short weeks he'll turn five. Soon he'll be a kindergartner, but to me even a kindergartner feels like a tiny life that was just lifted out of my stomach.
It goes by so quickly.
A few nights ago after falling into bed and curling up into an exhausted lump of sleepy whines, I tried to illustrate to Tom just how challenging it was to meet the manic nursing demands of Scooter while trailing after the boys destruction, while making sure everyone was fed, clean, happy, attended to, played with...but Tom interrupted and calmly reminded me that this, this chaos and craziness and exhaustion, it is only temporary. Scooter will sleep through the night, he will grow bigger and independent, he will eat less often, he will even start desiring my constant closeness less and less.
This is not forever. For the sake of my sanity, it's a blessing that this newborn stage isn't permanent, but even though it's still here for now...I miss it already. I miss this craziness already. I'll ignore the exhaustion...as best as I can, and try to savor all of this craziness before we move onto a new kind of craziness with bigger babies and different needs. But for now we're happy with what we have.